Kill Skinner Volume One: A Parody of 'Kill Bill'
by animatedevey12
Summary: The Chef wakes up after a four year coma and seeks revenge against the people who betrayed and attempted to kill her on opening night of her new restuarant...epecially her former master SKINNER.  A cross of Pixar characters and a few from Kill Bill.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: I don't own Kill Bill or any of the Pixar characters _

**Kill Skinner Volume One: A Parody of 'Kill Bill' **

**Prologue **

A bloodied up female chef with dark hair is lying on the floor, then a male voice says:

"Do you find me sadistic? You know, I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to. You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. Well, maybe towards those other... jokers, but not you. No Kiddo, at this moment, this is me at my most...masochistic."

He cocks the pistol but then the female tells him as she's taking her last breaths

"Skinner, its your recipe."

BAM! goes the pistol. So the story of 'The Chef' begins a story all about revenge. Getting back at her former master.

**animatedevey12 Presents **

**Kill Skinner Volume One: A Parody of 'Kill Bill'**

**Starring: **

**Beep in The Role of 'The Chef'**

**Skinner **

**Honey Fox as Vernita Green a.k.a Copper head **

**Edna Mode as O-Ren Ishii a.k.a Cottonmouth **

**Buddy Pine/Syndrome as Budd a.k.a Sidewinder **

**Helen Parr/Elastigirl as Elle Driver a.k.a California Mountain Snake **

**Hattori Hanzo as himself **

**and **

**Mirage as Sofie Fatale **

To be continued...

Note: Yea it's all I've got so far for now since I'm going according to the chapters by Kill Bill. And no worries to you all who enjoy Pixar United: A 'Heroes' Parody I'm still working on that too. It's rated T now but the rating will be booted up to M.


	2. Chapter 1: 2

**Chapter One- 2**

_Revenge is a dish best served cold.-Old Klingon proverb. _

**FOUR YEARS LATER**

_Ding Dong _goes the doorbell at the the house of Vernita Green. She lives in a quiet neighborhood and is married to a doctor. She opens the door to find the most shocking scene possible-A woman that she and a group of assassins that they 'killed' four years ago is alive. The woman then punches her in the face.

"BITCH!" says the woman with short dark hair.

Both of them begin to fight. Vernita begins to fight back by kicking her and then both of them go to the living room. Where she hits the woman (a.k.a The Chef) and she lands on the coffee table causing the table to break. The Chef then pushes her against the glass cabinet and both continue to kick and punch each other continueosly.

The Chef then grabs a kitchen knife and so does Vernita.

"How the hell are you still alive?" asks Vernita.

"I was in a coma. Skinner's bullet wasn't enough to kill me, which by the way.." The Chef then gets cut off by the daughter of Vernita.

"Hi mommy!" the girl then looks around and then sees her mother and this woman who she's never meet before with knives in their hands. Both of them then hide their knives.

"Hi sweetie! How was school?"

"Fine, who's that lady?"

"This woman is an old friend of your mommy's"

The Chef then tells her "Hello my name is BEEP. How old are you?"

"Four."

"Really, because about four years ago that's when your mommy and I stopped talking."

The girl then asks her mother "Mommy what happened to the living room?"

Vernita then makes up an excuse "That mangy old dog of yours was being an ass and messed up the entire living room."

Her daughter stares at her, somewhat knowing that her mother is not tell the whole truth.

"Why don't you go up to your room while mommy and her friend sit down for a cup of coffee?"

"Okay mommy."

After her daughter walks up to her room, Vernita and 'The Chef' go to the kitchen.

Vernita then says: "So I suppose it's late for an apology."

"You suppose correctly." replies The Chef.

"You have every right to get even."

"No. No. To get even? Even-Steven? I would have to kill you, go up to your daughter's room, kill her, then wait for your husband to come home, and kill him. That would be even, Verntia. That'd be about square."

Vernita is grabbing a cereal box and then begins to talk "Listen bitch, I don't want to scare my daughter like that again."

The Chef then replies "Fine, where do you suggest we fight this over?"

"How about late at night near the park that's a few blocks away from here. We can finish it off there."

"Fine by me, I accept."

Then suddenly Vernita takes a gun out of the cereal box and shoots The Chef, but misses. The Chef then flings the kitchen knife at Vernita's chest and after that, Vernita dies. She then removes the knife out of Vernita's chest after she's no longer breathing. Just then The Chef turns around and sees Vernita's daughter shocked and disturbed by the fact that she saw her mother get killed.

The Chef then says "I know this seems wrong at the moment. But if you're still mad at me for doing this to your mother. I will be waiting for you."

The Chef then leaves out the door and gets into her truck. The truck is yellow and is emblazoned with the words 'Pussy Wagon'. The Chef then takes out a list and crosses off Vernita's name off the list, Vernita's name is second and she was also known as Copperhead.

To Be Continued...

Note: Just like in Kill Bill, we'll get to the number one on the list later. Stay Tuned.


	3. Chapter 2: The BloodSpattered Chef

**Chapter 2-The Blood-Spattered Chef **

**FOUR YEARS AGO **

A sheriff's car is parked outside of a new restaurant and a fellow deputy goes in the restaurant and sees that people are lying on the floor dead and the whole scene was bloody.

"What happened here?" asked the deputy.

"It seems to be some sort of a massacre. It looks like about nine people are dead all shot execution style." said the sheriff.

"Who's the young lady in the white clothing?"

"We've been calling her 'The Chef' around here. But wow, she's all bloodied up right now."

'The Chef' then spits at the sheriff and both the deputy and the sheriff stare at each other.

"I guess she's not dead, we have to take her to the hospital. "

Later around 'The Chef' is lying in a hospital bed and comatose. Then we hear whistling, a woman with short brown hair with an eye patch comes and changes into a nurse uniform. She then goes into 'The Chef's' room and sees her lying on her bed. The woman then takes out a lethal injection and is about to inject her when her cell phone rings. She takes out her huge old school cell phone and answers.

"Hello Skinner"

On the other line Skinner asks "What's her condition?"

"She's comatose"

"Where is she?"

"I'm standing over her right now."

"That's my girl. Elle you're going to have to abort the mission."

"WHAT?"

"We owe her better than that."

" NO YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T OWE HER SHIT!"

"Will you please keep your voice down."

She then begins to whisper " You don't owe her shit!"

"May I say one thing?"

"Speak."

"You all beat the hell out of that woman, but you didn't kill her. And I put a bullet in her head, but her heart just kept on beating. Now, you saw that yourself with your own beautiful brown eye, did you not? We've done a lot of things to this lady. And if she ever wakes up, we'll do a whole lot more. But one thing we won't do is sneak into her room in the night like a filthy rat and kill her in her sleep. And the reason we won't do that thing is because... that thing would lower us. Don't you agree, Miss Driver?"

"I guess."

"Do you really have to guess?"

She sighs "No. I don't really have to guess. I know."

"Come on home honey."

"Affirmative"

"I love you very much."

"I love you too. Bye bye."

Elle then leaves without injecting anything into 'The Chef's' system.

**FOUR YEARS LATER**

We see 'The Chef' still in her coma, lying in a hospital bed. She has been in this coma for four years now. Then suddenly she wakes up and is gasping and looks around and takes a look at her hands.

" Four...years..." she whispers to herself.

She is very thin as she has not eaten anything. She touches her skull and she feels a steel plate in her head. She was thinking how the hell did she survive that bullet? Then she hears someone coming in she lies down and pretends she's in a coma. Two perverted men come in and she listens to their disturbing conversation.

"Price is $75 a fuck, my friend. You getting your freak on, or what?"

"Oh yeah, boy."

" Now here are the rules. Rule Number One: no punching her. The nurse comes in tomorrow and she got a shiner or less some teeth, jig's up. So, no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little cunt's a spitter. It's a motor-reflex thing. But spit or not, no punching. Now, are we absolutely, positively clear on Rule Number One?"

"Yeah" .

"Good. Now, Rule Number Two: no monkey bites, and no hickeys. In fact, no leaving no marks of any kind on her. After that, it's all good, buddy. Now, her plumbing down there don't work no more, so feel free to come in her all you want. Keep the noise down, try not to make a mess. I'll be back in twenty."

Buck is about leave his friend until...

"Oh, shit! By the way, not every time but sometimes this chick's cooch will get drier than a bucket of sand. If she's dry, just lube up with this, and you'll be good to go. Bon Appetite, good buddy. "

Just as Buck's friend is about to get it on with 'The Chef', she bites him really hard when he's about to make out with her. She bites him on his tongue. After about twenty minutes she stops biting him and he falls over and we see a pool of blood from the biting and he's dead.

She gets out of her bed and tries to crawl to the door. Then Buck comes in and sees that she's wide awake and she begins to hit him and then slides him near the door and slams the door several times while saying.

"WHERE'S SKINNER?" SLAM "WHERE'S SKINNER?" SLAM "WHERE'S SKINNER?"

Then she just had some horrifying flashback about what happened to her during her coma.

Buck was pretty much fucking her and he told her once "My name is Buck and I like to fuck."

Back to reality.

"Your name is...BUCK! and you like to...FUCK!...Right?"

Buck nods in horror and then 'The Chef' takes Buck's car keys. She finds a wheel chair and get on it to go to the parking lot where Buck's truck is located. She gets inside the truck that has 'Pussy Wagon' emblazoned on the outside.

To Be Continued.


End file.
